Saturday, October 12, 2013

HE SHOWED UP: Influence 2013 Recap

I've been trying to write this post since I returned home from Influence. I have stared at this blank white blog box multiple times now... I have typed and deleted words multiple times as well... I have sat and thought for a long time... trying to come up with the most perfectly eloquent words and ways to describe what Influence was... But the truth?! My experience wasn't perfect or eloquent, so why would/should my words be? The truth? Influence for me was overwhelming, and messy, and God made my heart a wreck. He tore it wide open and made me tender... He threw open the doors of my heart that I have worked so hard at shutting so tightly, and throwing away the keys to... And in the strangest way it WAS perfect... He was there, He showed up!! He showed up in getting me there, He showed up in providing the way, He showed up in roommates I had, and the people I had conversations with/interacted with  babbled like a bimbo at, in the sessions and the speakers I chose to go to (which I didn't pre plan,)  and in worship night where it all came to a head and I just let all the emotion out. He showed up in the moments when I just couldn't handle things anymore (like I was ever handling them to begin with.) He showed up, and whereas it really shouldn't surprise me... it does... And the lessons I learned?! I can't yet tell you what they are, because I'm not entirely sure of them myself.

Here's what I can tell you though:

I like to pretend I'm an extrovert
And from behind my computer screen I can sometimes pass as one
But truth be told I am very much 100% introverted (as anyone who met me may have figured out)
It won't stop me from pretending to enjoy/do extroverted things though
Like attend conferences... Don't get me wrong the last time I did this I attended Making Things Happen (and it's pretty much safe to say it changed my life, and now I can add Influence to that list...) God showed up at Influence, and wrecked me big time, in a way I desperately needed to be wrecked. He reminded me that I am His precious daughter and that He not only just tolerates all my shenanigan's, He loves me through them. HE LOVES ME, AND I AM ENOUGH!!

He taught me again that I am totally the one that breaks out in cold sweats in big crowds, and sputters out words that make no sense, and then thinks about it later and thinks, "What the heck did I just say to her?!" "She probably thinks I'm an idiot." AND TO LITERALLY EVERY ONE I MET: I AM SO SORRY!! <-- I promise I am not that weird if you were to meet me outside of the conference! Or if I'm not being super awkward, I'm being super creepy... again my apologies to y'all who I met that I may have creeped out.

He made me realize that I stalk a fair amount of blogs, but I am one of those people who never comments or says anything, and so even though I know many of the people around me and want to run up and chat with everyone, NO ONE knows who I am... So again I'm sorry I'm a no comment/interaction stalker lol.

He taught me that I buy into all the lies, all the time.

He taught me AGAIN that He is good, and that when He shows up, He shows up B.I.G!!

So thats what I know right now, and I'm sure much more will hit me as the days go by. I'm glad I went, but I'm more glad to be home because truth be told at the end of my "vacation" I needed another one to process all I had learned. And the "perfect" words don't exist to describe the weekend because it wasn't that... at least it wasn't for me, and that's ok!!

Until next time:

God Bless,
Purposefully Chosen

*Making Things Happen was almost an ENTIRE year ago (totally crazy) and I'm working on an update so stay tuned for that :D SO much has happened since MTH!


2 comments:

  1. You're not weird or creepy and I knew you so stop haha. Glad you felt changed!!

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    Replies
    1. I am both weird AND creepy haha. BUT it's ok because I fully intend to just embrace it for what it is! You are a blessing, and I am so grateful for you!!

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